Dear Dad: Communiqué re. Misbehaving Mother

Hi Dad,

You know how you told Mum to have fun? Well, you probably should have clarified what ‘fun’ meant. I’m not sure that your idea of fun includes going a little bit shopping mad. On the upside though, the wooden floors should be a little warmer next winter. She’s only bought three carpets so far. I think she’s hoping you’ll have some big tree jobs coming up. I hope you didn’t leave her YOUR credit card. How much do you REALLY miss her?

Not only that, but she insists on doing things like jumping on the back of motorbikes (unbeknownst to me, who thought she was walking down the street to look for her ring), going hot air ballooning over Cappadocia and doing hectic all day tours. Thankfully I prevented her buying copious amounts of ridiculously overpriced ceramics. She did have a go at the pottery wheel in a workshop yesterday – after 26 years out I practice, her pot was a little bit lopsided. Luckily they didn’t make her buy it. She was unimpressed when they said they could make it into an ashtray.

I have a great photo of her I’ll have to find for you. It’s not very attractive – she’s trying to catch snow in her mouth outside the airport in Kayseri. I also had to confiscate her hat, as it was embarrassing having to acknowledge that she was my mother when she was wearing it. Trying to separate her from her camera is a challenge, and she always had to be the last back on the bus – I was constantly having to call her to hurry up as everyone was waiting. I think she may be suffering from the Turkey equivalent of Jerusalem Syndrome too, as she keeps getting all emotional at places we visit!

She’s not satisfied with visiting just one country either, so tomorrow we’re going to go to Greece for about 9 days. I doubt the weather will be an improvement, and I’m sure she’ll find all sorts of stuff to buy there too. I do try to supervise her, but there’s only so much I can do. We may need to acquire a Sherpa to carry all her souvenirs soon!

Anyway, we’re still having fun, though Mum might change her mind when she gets her next credit card statement. I’ve had to threaten her with dorms for the next two weeks!

Love you,
Catherine.

Dear Catherine

I have known your mother 38 years and know that behind that friendly smile lies treachery,  treachery, treachery.   She says one thing and then does another.   She promised when she married me that she would change, but it has just not happened.   Ive tried everything to get her to be a good obedient wife, but in 29 years have been spectacularly unsuccessful.   I think you have a better chance than me, and I am relying on you to rein her in a bit.   I have found that on occassions, holding back chocolate works, but not for very long.   Keep kidding her along, but just sneakily take her card from her.   I need some money to go to Byron Bay in March with Chris Obrien.   (Dont tell your mum that though.)   Am loving your blog and everyone here is so happy you both are having fun.   You can actually tell your mum that she can spend as much as she wants, but only after I get the camels.
Love you heaps.
dad.
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6 responses to “Dear Dad: Communiqué re. Misbehaving Mother

  1. Hi Catherine, I am catching up with your travels and am particularly enjoying the one’s with you and your mum. It was lovely to see where she purchased her much loved carpets, although apparently they are too good for those wooden floors and are draped over the couches for the pets to lounge on! Your dad’s reply was hilarious. You have certainly given her the ‘bug’. Happy travelling, Kim Walkerxx Ps Gypsy is a brat!!!

  2. Dear Catherine, I really like your blog! Since I’m working as a diplomat in Serbia, I particularly liked the part on Serbia (notably the apiculture museum experience, I found it so typical for Serbia). Best, Wolfgang (Belrade)

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